A Koala walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders dinner.
After he has finished eating, the waiter brings him his bill.
The koala shoots the waiter and heads for the door.
The restaurant owner runs over and stops him.
"You can't come into my restaurant, eat my food, kill my waiter and then walk out! Who do you think you are?"
The koala says "A Koala. Look it up."
The owner gets a dictionary and looks up koala.
It sais, "Marsupial. Eats shoots and leaves".

Why did the first Koala fall out of the tree?
It was dead.
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
It was playing follow the leader.
Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
It was stappled to the second Koala.
Why did the fourth Koala fall out of the tree?
It got hit by a fridge.
How did the Kangaroo die?
It got hit by four Koala's and a fridge.

An Aussie was marooned on a desert island.
His only companions were a male dog and a female koala.
The dog and koala hit it off, and for a year the Aussie could only sit and watch while the dog humped the koala senseless.
"Lucky bastard!" thought the Aussie, "I could do with a good shag myself."
One day a beautiful naked blonde was washed up on the beach.
"Hi. I'll do anything you want me to," she said to the Aussie.
"Great!!! At last, after all this time!!! Take the dog for a walk, love, while I shag this koala."

A koala is sitting up a gumtree smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past.
The lizard looks up and says "Hey Koala! What are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.
After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.
But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile sais he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
So the koala looks down at him and says: "Faaaaarrrrk dude.......how much water did you drink?!!"

What's purple and furry?
A koala holding its breath